When friends are inconsiderate.
Today was a test but I'll get to that in a minute. This was nothing to do with me or the cleanse or feeling starved...it was the test of a best friend who decided to eat in front of me. It was also a great test to see if I caved in and how I actually felt about food in general. However let me start at the beginning of the day.
I had a late night only because I couldn't sleep due to a bit of a sore stomach. I think it was because I'd taken the last 2 shots on a not so empty stomach. Especially after that large bowl of delicious warm vegetables. It had been a couple of hours but maybe my stomach was still harbouring the most tastiest food I'd had in over 48hrs.
But alas I survived.
I also noticed in the morning, despite around 7 hours sleep that I felt energetic and able to get up. Bearing in mind that usually I struggle to get up every morning regardless of how much or how little sleep I've had. What was happening...my body is certainly changing and reacting to cutting out all the shitty food we eat, nibble on, grab quickly cos it'll do...and tell ourselves we'll be good tomorrow. I also have to say I kinda like the discipline of having a wee checklist to mark off and preparing things to take with me when I leave the house. I'm also thinking of how can I keep this up! How can I feel this good every morning - without coffee and have a normal sleep - after my 9 days are over?
I've changed. And it's only the third day.
It was also the first day I was allowed food. I had planned to cook a chicken breast, some sweet potatoes and asparagus but got caught up in the office and was invited to a last minute gig. How could I say no when it was The Fratellis doing a live session at the BBC with Edith Bowman for The Quay Sessions.
So what to do...and I really needed food...I was bordering on hangry.
Good old M&S to the rescue. I must admit looking for the calories on the packaging did begin to stress me a bit. I've never counted a calorie in my life! I spied a beef ragu, only 378 cals and added a side of couscous with roasted vegetables for 178 cals. A friend did mention to me later why didn't I get a dessert instead of the couscous...why did she even mention that! To be fair I don't want a dessert.
I'd feel like I was cheating. Especially after all the effort I'm going to.
I had a good productive day and felt great. However, the true test was going out after the gig. I never thought twice about it as I'm always out and about in town. What I didn't factor in was I couldn't do any of the things I normally do.
No food. No alcohol. Not even a cranberry juice. But I went for a drink. To the Brunswick. What was I thinking...my friend was on the gin and I hadn't given it a second thought that I eat quite a lot there and they'd still be cooking food.
So what did she do? She ordered a massive lamb burger and chips. Whilst I sat with water. At least I managed to drink the last 3 glasses of water on my checklist eh? I have to confess I stole a chip but who can blame me!
What I did become aware of, when she was stuffing her face, was that in the past I would have eaten something just for the sake of it, cos that's what I do. I go out for dinner at least 3/4 times a week and this is one of the reasons I wanted to do the cleanse. I wanted to start getting rid of bad habits. I also didn't feel the need to eat and I wasn't desperately hungry or dying for a bite. I was rather proud of myself. This cleanse is working...it's changing my mind at least.