Bear with me while I talk about a cleanse.

Yes, I'm doing something I never ever thought I would do. I can actually here myself when I say the words. A cleanse. But it's only for nine days and everyone I know (even the sceptics) have raved about the benefits. I'm also fed up of not getting a good night's sleep, have rubbish eating habits and haven't properly exercised since my Tough Mudder injury that has banned me from running. So I need a kick start. And I'm sharing my progress with you. Aren't you delighted?

So what's the cleanse? It's a Forever Living product and if you want  to try it out let me know and I'll pass my friends details onto you. The C9 cleanse isn't just about losing weight. It's about feeling better and having more energy. Something I could certainly do with as my days are getting longer, the work is piling up and all I can think about is having duvet days, every day. Here's my honest opinion so far. I already feel different and it's only day 2 without food and I'm ok...I've survived. 7 days to go...

Day 1:

So…first things first…no one told me how much I would actually pee! Jeez. Someone could have warned me! Thank god I decided to work from home and just as well or I’d have had to set up my desk and laptop right outside the bathroom door at work.

Yes…it really does make you pee lots. What with the funky tasting Aloe Vera Gel, the 8 glasses of water you have to drink and your body getting rid of fluid naturally along with help from the tablets, fibre gels and what not…I’m sure there is a definitive science to it all but let’s not get into that just yet.

My friend and I embraced the fear and exchanged regular text messages throughout the day about our progress and how far from pleasant the gel was. And how his body would involuntarily go into shock as soon as he knocked back the shots, stuffing tangerine segments into his gob to kill the taste as quickly as possible. It doesn’t work as well as you think it will in your head so I think it’s best just to hold your nose and be done with it. Easier said than done but it won’t kill you right?

Snacking on grapes, strawberries and cherries I went about my business as usual. There are some days where I forget to eat and realise late on that I could do with some food. Unfortunately this was a day where I didn’t forget. It was also a day where I had an appetite that appeared to be bigger than normal. I also pretended to sit down to dinner. I tried to trick my brain into thinking that a bowl of raw asparagus, tomatoes, spinach, peppers and spring onions would be the tastiest meal and curb the hunger. My mind wandered…I was thinking that even a lick of a Dominos pepperoni pizza would answer my prayers. Even just a sniff. I was getting desperate. But it’s not the end of the world and it’s only 9 days.

What did I do? I escaped to meet said friend and indulge in our 30 minutes of gentle exercise. Armed with a little bag of raspberries to snack on, I drove knowing that I had the best part of 15 minutes to reach him without needing to go pee again. I just made it and no more. For the record I’d definitely state that you need to pee more frequently in the time after downing those tasty gel shots. So you have been warned. My friend was pacing patiently until he spotted the bag of raspberries. Before I’d even said hello he’d grabbed my treasured snacks with both hands and scoffed them as if he hadn’t eaten in days. Weeks. Months even. Tasted even better than chocolate he said. Delusional of course.

Alas our walk around the park consisted of chat about food. “If you could eat anything right now, what would you have?” “What’s the first meal you’ll have when we’re done?” “Did you know Zizzi’s do 600 calorie meals so we could technically still eat out.”

We managed it and almost lost it on the way home as we passed the take away shops where even a Doner Kebab was looking mighty fine and that’s saying something from someone who’s never had one in her life. Not even when she’s been drunk!

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